After feeling a bit blah for the past week or so, due to teenage hormones and just general beings and annoyances affecting my life recently, tonight I really cheered up!
I started tonight off pretty excitable for no apparent reason, and although now Ive slowly calmed down I still have a lovely feeling in my stomach.
Mainly I feel like this, because tonight I actually 'came out' to my best friend. I hate saying 'came out' but I guess its the way you describe it really. I've been meaning to tell her for ages now, but its like in films when everytime you try too, something comes up or happens meaning you cant, so today I just sort of told her blankly. She asked me if I was liking anyone, and by liking we always mean fancying, and I replied yes. Then when she asked who I didnt say anything for ages and tried changing the subject. She jokingly asked if it was a girl and I replied simply with what makes you say that?. And it sort of went from there till I eventually said 'yeah, im bisexual'. And being the lovliest most amazing person that she is, she told me I was bloody stupid for worrying about telling her 
and she'll always be my best friend no matter what. Smiles all round 
I love this happy feeling. The one like you get when youve been on rollercoasters all day or the one you get on christmas eve when youre 8 years old (:
Its dead nice 
I've also realised how much I have planned for the rest of this year!
Calender tiiiiime :B
27/09 - The Fair! [I dont care how childish it sounds, my mates and I go every year and its always really fun(:]
29/09 - Alan Carr Book Signing
10/10 - Tim Minchin
31/10 - Best Friends Birthday & Halloween
06/11 - Stephen K Amos
25/11 - Finch
04/12 - Pendulum
05/12 - Stephen K Amos, again
06/12 - IAMX
10/12 - Mother's Birthday
12/12 - Mighty Boosh Live
15/12 - Mighty Boosh Book Signing
18/12 - Cousin's Wedding
19/12 - Kindle
All I'm saying is, December is going to be amazing.
ALSO! I changed my bag this morning to one I hadnt used since March, and whilst on the train I found a screwed up piece of paper in one of the pockets. I read it, and it was a ripped piece from my last diary. In a non bigheaded way at all [well maybe a bit], I thought It sounded quite nice and poetic sort of, I'll let you decide
It sounds more like a letter to someone, and looking back I think it was, however I know I would have never given this to the person I was writing too
"Dear ****
I've not a clue how to write what I have to say if I'm honest. But it's 12:22pm, my college interview isnt until 1 o clock, it's tipping it down with rain outside and I'm sitting alone in Starbucks at a table in the corner. From reading that I guess I sound like something in a film. I wish that were true.
Everything always works out the way its meant to in films. I cant think of one horror story where people dont die a horrible death, or a love story where someone ends up alone, can you?
Trust me to mention a love story. Love. Its a dead funny thing, isnt it? Feels amazing for lets say, 95% of the time. But that other 5%. That 5% that appears during every fight and fall out we have. The 5% that falls in the tears we cry and mistakes we make. Stings like a bitch, cuts in deep.
Our 'love' is our sweetest downfall. Something that neither of us can control as much as we would like to. And the more we try, the further it moves out of our hands. Thats what we both hate.
So I'm sitting here now, and I'm thinking, where do we go from here? We're too far apart, physically yes, but mentally too. In ways we've always been apart mentally. Always on different wavelengths and in different mind sets. But when we're together, its almost like we're one. Together sometimes we felt invincible, hand in hand going places we've never been before. Exploring the world at our own pace, as if no one else in the world mattered. And sometimes as we caught trains and buses, I felt like we were the only ones who did matter. Us two beautiful, young people with not a problem in the world. We didnt need anyone else.
To you this may sound ridiculous, or even a joke, but nothing I write is meaning to be funny. This is pointless really, seeing as half the things Ive just written, you'll never read anyway."
